Yes she can. It’s not perfect but definitely accessible. Any advice is appreciated. I don’t want to scare her off by inviting her too early but also maybe waiting too long makes her think her injury has to do with it.
I would take the slow approach and do some making out in public places to see how she reacts. Depending on her physical adaptations she could be one of us who would always prefer to be near her own bathroom for any sexual activity. Take it slow and ask her straight out what she needs.
The best date idea is for you to ask her what she would like to do because as you said, she has no hand function so depending on how she feeds herself, she may not want to be in a public place for early dates. Asking questions will let you know what she is hesitant about and more keen on doing with you...things like going for a walk (on even ground because of her wheelchair) just talking and then stopping at a cafe (with an accessible toilet nearby) is a good way to get to know each other better. But in my opinion, the most important thing is to ask her questions. She will let you know what she's comfortable with and doesnt want to do, I dont think you should make decisions for her until you know her better
Thanks for the responses so far. Very useful and I did my best to follow the advice. So we met up a couple more times and the topic of sex came up. She actually brought it up and said she is looking forward to it. Of course I will ask her how it will be best so we both have a great experience.
I am trying to make this sound as generic and impersonal as possible but I honestly have no idea where to start. Such as what positions a c5 quadriplegic can do best, if she should lie down or partially sit up, how she may be scared of not pleasing me?
Not sure what to ask. I guess it’s one of those thing that will happen and I’ll learn but any advice again would be great.
Hello JSP. What is your name, interests and location? Your profile seems to be rather bare for somebody who is seeking intimate advice from other people. You will have to forgive me for questioning you, but we get weirdoes on here from time to time who go on and on about sex without giving any profile details, then they abruptly disappear never to be seen again. It's as if discussing topics of a highly sexual nature, with many replies and advice, gives them some kind of weird thrill.
You say your girlfriend bought up the topic of sex, just like that, and yet there is no mentions of feelings of love. If you fall in love, then you won't need our advice about sexual matters. You will be able to discuss it with each other and without fear of rejection. She will tell you what she can and can't do, or what she'd like to do. life is an experiment. We are all bound up in this test-tube we call existence.
Hi jsp1605, I'm Rain. I'm a female, and while I don't have a spinal cord injury I am dating a man who does. I suppose it's safe to say I'm not very experienced when it comes to dating, but I wanted to just put out there that communicating has been very important to our relationship. I suggest you talk to her and be open, ask her what she's comfortable with and what works. I wish you luck! --Rain