Need a break 🙁

I watched a Dr. Phil (psychologist) TV show a long time ago, wherein he said something that stuck in my mind and occassionally recurs to me. (It’s not that I think everything Dr. Phil says is correct,...this one just did get my attention.) This particular show was about an unmarried couple who lived together. (It had nothing to do with paralysis or caregiving.) When these two young people had gotten together, moved in together, and decided to live together, the “husband” had told the “wife” that they didn’t need to get married for them to have a legitimate union,...that a legal marriage was ‘just a piece of paper’. The woman had agreed to this, and they had been together for several years. But the woman became increasingly unhappy, wanting to marry the man. When she would broach the subject, he would become angry, accusing her of trying to break their “vows” to each other to stay together. Dr. Phil, with both of them before him, explained to the woman that “this works for HIM.” It took a few minutes more for it to sink in on the woman that there was a choice that was before her, if indeed the arrangement did not work for HER. Then the young man caught on to the fact that Dr. Phil was opening the woman’s mind to the choice of reneging on her agreement with the young man and leaving him,...if it didn’t “work for HER”. The young man was in shock and furious at Dr. Phil for de-stabilizing the little kingdom he had created with his girlfriend. The very idea that she could walk away from him!

I have a deep respect for the marriage arrangement and for people who value their vows, even when things get difficult. But sometimes imperfect humans try to create an ‘alternate universe’ and impose that universe (or kingdom) on their marriage mate, and the one creating this kingdom gets the other to buy into it. This ‘alternate universe’ may have nothing to do with what God intended when he instituted the marriage arrangement.

You need some relief from physical work and from continuous mental responsibility. Your mate has had you available to himself almost 24/7. That works for HIM. But, without in any way disregarding your marriage vows or other high moral principles, if you need help caring for your husband, you have the right to get that help, whether he agrees or not, because it also matters what works for YOU. And if that doesn’t work for HIM, then...well, I guess he has a phone.