Most of us dream but do we remember our dreams? I wonder what your most recent vivid dream was? Last night I dreamt that my eldest son was caring for a rosebush growing in the garden, encouraging it to grow by wrapping a piece of lead in a heavy petrol-soaked cloth, placing it alongside the rosebush and then setting it alight. I asked him what he was doing and he said the molten lead filtering into the soil would encourage the rosebush to grow. I told him that was absurd and besides the flames are so fierce it has practically destroyed the rosebush. “Look,” I said as the flames seared the leaves. "The whole idea is mad." Moments later I was in my aunt’s kitchen. I was a young man and my aunt was in her late 60s. It seems rather weird and embarrassing to write, but I was attempting to fondle her breasts (I should state right away that I’ve never had a sexual thought about my aunt, who brought me up as a child). She pushed two stiff index fingers into my collarbone’s, which tickled and hurt at the same time. The sensation was so intense that it froze me in my tracks. It kind of paralysed me. Thank God for that. What might have happened if she’d encourage me doesn’t bear to think about. How weird! I could write endlessly about my strange dreams. It’s a good job I don’t have nightmares. Mind you, the dream about my aunt was the stuff of nightmares. The easiest way for me to dampen any sense of arousal is to think about her enormous purple varicose veins and thick elastic stockings. The mind boggles.