FWIW, gastric sleeve surgery is quite helpful. Will not solve any feelings underlying emotional eating, and bc of atrophy loss is slower than it is in AB, but it’s definitely worth exploring. I would suggest finding someone experienced with managing neurogenic bowel to work with post-surgery, because things will be chaotic.
Bigj, A spinal injury is so horrible for anyone, and unfortunately it affects everyone in your family. It sounds as if your wife is nowhere near as supportive as she ought to be, but she is in this too. She is probably having a difficult time adjusting to things herself. I am glad that you got your settlement, that will make things quite a bit easier. May I suggest counseling for both of you?
My husband passed away 10 years ago. But if I were to look for a new guy, I would be a lot more interested in his mind, and in his soul, than I would be in his body, what he was able to do, and not to do. I do believe that you continue to be alive for a purpose, you are still a thinking, giving human being, and hopefully you will be shown what that purpose is. In the meantime, stick around. There is still life to be lived. ,
I scheduled counseling and the day we were to go there is the day she said she wants to split and not go to counseling because she said she has no hope for us or a future together.
So here is the latest, a TON has transpired this week. I moved out with 3 of my kids today. I am renting a house until mine is done being built. My wife says she just doesn’t love me the same anymore and is done. So as I write the words I am laying in my bed at the rental house afraid because even though my kids are asleep in other rooms, this is the first time since my injury my wife hasn’t been here to help me when I need it.
I went to the Chevy dealership yesterday and finalized some things on my truck and the ADA alterations I need done to drive it. Should be about 3 weeks and I can drive.
As if splitting up/divorcing wasn’t bad enough news this week, things got worse. I have been getting clearances from doctors to have gastric sleeve surgery. Well the hematologist told me my blood results are bad and she is afraid I have Chronic Lymphocytic Lukemia. I have to have a bone marrow biopsy this week. I am seriously freaking out!! I’m only 39, I can’t leave my kids!!
Hugs your way, bigJ. What a week. I too will pray this is a false medical scare but if not, good they found it. As you have shown, you will handle things. Occasionally, and for unknown reasons (random?) life will throw crisis after crisis, grief after grief, at a person in a short period of time. One finds ways to cope, and I suppose one part of that is when we acknowledge how deeply unsettling each problem is.
I hope we at this forum manage to offer that bit of extra fellowship that helps you continue moving forward.
May I ask the ages of your children?
I step in the water, but the water has moved on...
Big j .. Felt very happy for you when first started reading, exciting new beginnings Little by little it's new for you all. Then read the sad but .. Hopefully it's wrong but either way Stay strong ,stay positive , You can you do this ! You have a lot of support and advice just here on this site and being able to share a problem or vent anger or ask for advice is something we all need .. Sending hugs mimm 😊
Hi. I'm sorry about how you are feeling. I go through that periodically, and had a very difficult weekend... I became paraplegic from an L1 Burst resulting from a car accident 13 years ago. Before that, I was the family bread-winner, making $30/hr teaching underpoverished teens aged 16-21 coming out of the jail system for serious crimes. I ran the program, taught Math, and was responsible for 60 kids. I loved my job. I was good at it.... Often I feel like a Physical AND Financial Burden, and that is probably the worst thing about this for me also - - worse than the pain, lack of mobility, and loss of feeling. I just try to remind myself I am loved, I am worthy, and none of this is my fault. Easy to say, sometimes hard to believe.
It is often very difficult, near impossible, to remain intimate after such an event. I try to make myself more emotionally available, since I cannot be physically so.
No advice here, just wanted to let you know I Heard You, and I Understand. REACH OUT IF YOU EVER FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN. PLEASE.