Post by charliemosbrook on Sept 15, 2017 8:03:16 GMT -8
I came over from apparalized last year when it shut down but never really followed up or developed the habit of checking back. Part of it was that life got busy. I got married, released a new record. did a lot of travelling, got caught up in the local sports(Indians and Cavs), and so on. I am now feeling disconnected from the SCI community and feel that I need to make this a bigger part of my life again.
Yesterday I went over to the hospital for a few things. I do a regular monthly concert for the patients on the SCI floor. I have been doing it for 6 years.
I also had a ultrasound done to try to figure out what is wrong with my hip. I injured it and it isn't getting better. It has been a problem now for 6 weeks and has limited my ability to go out. I am able to walk short distances and climb stairs, but through this injury I don't feel safe trying to do much of that. When I pull my leg forward, it seems to pull back and spasm upward. The leg that is injured is the one I trust most of the time. Without confidence that it will support me, I stay seated in my chair most of the time. We have a few steps to get in and out of my building. I have been home bound much of the time because of the stairs. It is depressing.
My third reason for going to the hospital was to visit a friend from the triathlon community that suffered a SCI last week and has been transferred to PT where I do my little concerts. I wanted to talk to her to help her try to adjust to this new life. Get her hooked up with CAF, answer questions and let her know that life keeps moving forward.
Recognizing my recent depression due to injury, I fear that I might not be visiting those with new injuries at full strength. I want to assure them that life is good and that there are new worlds to embrace, but I fear my message is clouded by my own dark moments of frustration in dealing with my current limitations.
Anyhow, recognizing this has reminded me to be more mindful of life with SCI and that I need to take care of my emotions in addition to my physical health. Being a part of the apparalized group was an important component to my ability to live with SCI. I need to take advantage of this group for the same reasons and stay connected.
Hello again, Charliemosbrook. That was a nice newsy post. The steps getting in and out of your living quarters are something that requires your persistent attention. My front door was only one step up, yet before getting my ramp, that 'one' step caused major hassle. When I read of other forum members who have spiffy equipment, mind-blowing activities, and the ability to stand, I imagine them as also having solved access problems, like steps. So, yes, those steps, an alternate route, or changing to a different home must be addressed in order to put you back in your normally happy, productive, supportive-of-others life. You've reached a bottle-neck.
Charlie- I am so sorry to hear of your hip injury. My own stories of injuries certainly will not encourage a newbie, except maybe to encourage caution. I don't think being at "full strength" is necessary when visiting more recently injured people. To me honesty and being real are most important. True, if you become a chronic Debbie Downer it's time to leave the inspirational talk circuit, but being honest that there are downs as well as ups can only make your entire message more believable. Real connection matters most, IMO, a need you are clearly aware of.
My own hip was injured in my SCI accident and a subsequent fall 3 years later made it much worse. No docs or chiropractors could figure out what was wrong initially and it took me years to analyze from the inside out, by which time it was permanent if it had not been originally. This is just real life. While a problem is fresh we search hard for answers, but sometimes there are none. This is not something to cry on a newly injured person's shoulder about, but there's no harm in saying you are currently handling a problem related to a new injury. I think it gives you more in common with a new person, in one sense.
It is natural that people whose medical problems more severely restrict their activities spend more time on forums and I've seen some folks withdraw because we can be 'too depressing.' The fact that we are here when the going gets tough is a good thing. All relationships ebb and flow and I'm glad you are motivated to flow back into this group. You have been a beacon for the possibility of living a good life post SCI. If you feel up to modeling honesty about the depression that often comes with new physical problems I think we can benefit from that , too.
Note to all- when we need to move best get a place that is fully accessible. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.
con·nect·ed·ness kəˈnektədnəs/Submit noun 1. the state of being joined or linked. "the connectedness of American business life and American sports" 2. a feeling of belonging to or having affinity with a particular person or group. "it's about partnering, trust, and connectedness"